Therapy is a fucking awesome thing to do. But how do you find a good therapist? And how do you find a therapist you can actually afford? Sarah walks you through how to do this, with a step-by-step guide. Plus, how to find quality therapy online.
Later. A listener asks Jade what to do if your ex gave you the best oral sex of your life. Should she go back for the orgasms? Or have sex with someone she loves (herself). Jade and Sarah talk through this very real conundrum.
Show notes
We will be sharing a full blog on how to find a therapist in Australia within the week. For now, here are some quick links to help you on your journey.
- For more on what Mental Health Care Plans involve, head here.
- For further information on the rebate you can claim back on your therapy sessions, head here.
Listener question
Is it ever okay to go back to your ex for sex, if he is really good at going down on you and is the only person that has made you cum?
We polled our listeners to find out if they’d go back and have sex with their ex.
- 80% said yes.
- 20% said no.
These are the reasons they gave.
- I lapsed because it was primal and felt good. Again? No. Hurts too much.
- I live with a scarcity mindset around sex. So if I can get it in a safe way and know its good *shrug emoji*
- Maybe I don’t have anyone else to have sex with
- I said yes but I should have said no – in my case it just made things harder
- Because its nice to band someone you’re comfortable with rather than risking a shit bang with a new person
- Only if there’s no feels left
- I did twice with two exes and it didn’t leave me feeling great about myself. Or them.
- Cause fucking good sex is hard to find and hopefully I would be less emotionally invested.
- Because I don’t like sleeping with new people and being disappointed
- Familiar is safe and easy. Connection is already there.
- Highly dependent on which ex. Most are a hard no.
What the experts say
Stephanie Spielmann and colleagues (2019) found that in the post-breakup stage, having sex with your ex is not injurious to your well-being.
Ex-partners can continue to experience sexual desire toward each other, which may even be stronger than that which prevailed when the relationship was intact, due to an increased level of uncertainty and greater levels of excitement and novelty following time apart (Birnbaum, 2018).
Quotes
“All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”
— Mae West
“Sometimes God sends an ex back into your life to see if you are still stupid.”
— We can’t find an original source for this one. (If you know please tell us!)